Now some of you might be wondering what the NFL Draft and the current dating pool have to do with each other. Well, they can both be paralleled fairly easily when looking at the types of prospects available in each and their various characteristics. In honor of the 2012 NFL Draft, i've decided to have some fun with the two pools of prospects and even use real NFL prospects in this year's draft. Hope you enjoy...
For me, there are five archetypal prospects in the NFL Draft:
The Can't-Miss Prospect,
The Developmental Prospect,
The Special Teamer,
The Character Issues Prospect and, of course,
The Bust.
1. The Can't-Miss Prospect:
NFL Draft: Andrew Luck, QB, Stanford University - I'm sure most of you that follow sports somewhat remotely have heard of Andrew Luck and the fact that he's a lock for the #1 pick in the NFL Draft and has been the highest rated QB since John Elway in 1983 (that Elway fella turned out alright I guess...). After looking over film and highlights, it's apparent this kid has all the signs of a can't-miss prospect: physical tools, strong work ethic, competitive, has that desire, down to earth, very smart (apparently scored one of the higher Wonderlic test scores in history), great in interviews, and has GMs and coaches salivating at his upside. On paper, and most likely in real life, this kid is a lock to be a solid starter for years to come.
Dating: This guy/girl is special. You can feel it after hanging out only a few times. You start to get those butterflies in your stomach and that certain whimsical feeling whenever you're around him/her. He/she is absolutely gorgeous/handsome, incredibly social and friendly, there isn't a person that doesn't like to be around this prospect. He/she is smart, caring, funny, well-mannered--the type of person you'd happily bring home to Mom and Dad or show off to your friends. While that's all good and dandy, this person has the other factor that is ever so important (well at least to me it is): that edge. He/she is passionate and loving and, at times, isn't afraid to show it; they bring a little something extra to the bedroom. Whether you're staying in for the night or going out with friends, it doesn't matter because this prospect enjoys them both and makes each an awesome time. It's easy to tell that this is the type of high caliber prospect you want to be with for a long time to come.
Shared Traits: Physical tools, smart, down to earth, good with people, has that "edge" and desire/passion, love to show him/her off, every team/person wants him/her.
2. The Developmental Prospect
NFL Draft: Brandin Boykin, CB, University of Georgia - The developmental prospects are usually taken in the mid to late rounds and tend to have one thing in common: ridiculous athletic ability. Let's look at Boykin for a second: incredibly fast, fairly solid covering skills, but a tad short to match up with big NFL receivers. However, this type of prospect is somewhat of a calculated risk. A team sees that there is ability and upside, but it's up to them to take the prospect there. It's a gamble. If developed and coached up properly, he could turn into a solid starter in the league and have a decent career. If not, the prospect could fall close to "Bust" territory. If worse comes to worst, he will probably at least have a role on special teams or as an assignment player
Dating: The developmental prospect is a tricky one. For girls, he might be that 24 year old Senior who's still working on his
first degree. For guys, she might be that girl who always seems a tad clingy or maybe a bit bitchy. This prospect usually has one strong thing going for him/her: could be good looks or a great personality. Usually one is stronger than the other and helps offset the less than stellar side. Either way, the hope is that with a little support and coaching, you can turn him/her into a winner and a solid addition to your love life. However, the fear is if you can't change their ways, then what happens? Odds are it's going to be a brief relationship that's blissful in the first couple months and drowned out by bullshit and bitching after the honeymoon phase. The third possibility is that the prospect does improve, but can't be that person in your starting lineup like you had dreamed. So you settle for placing the prospect into a reserved role on special teams as a "hookup buddy".
Shared Traits: Strong in one area (usually offsets the flaws), definitely a project, needs love/attention/time to develop, risky, can still prove to be useful addition to the team in a reserved/specified role.
3. The Special Teamer
NFL Draft: Philip Welch, P, Wisconsin - Like every special teamer, they're not really superstar material. Sure a few have made a name for themselves via special teams, a la Ted Ginn Jr, but those prospects/players almost always have another, more prominent role on offense or defense. These prospects are always taken in last rounds, or perhaps not at all and are picked up as free agents in the offseason. They have one job to do and that's it, no
más (no more). He's not going to suddenly break out of his role as a punter, kicker, or return specialist and become a quarterback or lineman. This type of prospect is set in his role and plays it to a "t".
Dating: The special teamer is probably the easiest prospect for a person to deal with emotionally; there is no gray area for you. He/she has one role on your team, much like in the NFL, and does not stray from it in your eyes. Two perfect examples of this prospect are the "friend zoner" and the affectionally known "one-night stand rebound". You're always going to see this person as being in the friend zone. They've got no chance to escape it and they're in that role for you. Same can be said of the one-night stand rebound; it was a one time thing, it didn't mean anything to you and you'll always see them as that. The only difference between these two is that while you'll gladly acknowledge one's presence at a bar or place in public, you do this for the other. The only issue that you might get involved in is that whoever you put in the friend zone or the rebound role might feel a bit more for you.
Shared Traits: One skill set and does it well and no confusion about role (at least on your end).
4. The Character Issues Prospect
NFL Draft: Janoris Jenkins, CB, North Alabama (by way of U of Florida) - There are always those handful of prospects who have every physical gift you could imagine, but the thing that holds them back from being an elite prospect is their character issues. Whether it's an arrest, assault, drugs, bad attitude, poor work ethic or getting kicked off of your high profile college team (i.e. Mr. Jenkins), it throws up red flags for GMs and coaches. They know they have the ability to play, but it's all about the mental fortitude and discipline. Who wants to waste a pick, and copious amount of money, on someone who's never going to see the field because he's always suspended? Some teams think they can change them, others don't bother. Does Maurice Clarett ring a bell?
Dating: For many of us, this is one of those situations where it seems like a great idea at the time, but in hindsight, it sucked out loud. This prospect is the stereotypical bad boy/girl or slutty counterpart of most guys and girls. Physically, they've got it all; you know that he/she would be All-Pro in the bedroom, but your head (the one on top of the shoulders, for men) knows it would be a lost cause. In some cases your brain overrides another part of the anatomy, but for most others, they throw themselves into it and believe they have what it takes to develop this prospect into one of the best the game has ever seen. Things may start off hot and heavy between this prospect and his/her coach and team, but very quickly it'll become evident that this was doomed from the start. You'll realize you can't change people and you'll become an emotional wreck, either by your hand or his/hers. They don't have the same interests, goals, or attitude as you and you can't fix that. You have to cut your losses and place this one on waivers or opt for a trade to try and salvage some value.
Shared Traits: Someone always reaches a little to high for this prospect in the early rounds, has great physical capabilties, bad mental game, good chemistry on the field (and between the sheets), ends up being a waste of time, can't change the prospect, solace knowing someone else is gonna take a chance on it.
5. The Bust
NFL Draft: Ryan Leaf, QB, Washington State (1998 NFL Draft) - Since we can't necessarily be sure if any of the prospects in this year's draft will be Busts, I decided to go with possibly the most infamous Bust of all time--Ryan Leaf (fitting that he is facing four recent felonies). The Bust has many similar characteristics as that of the Can't-Miss Prospect, but for some reason they just can't put it together in the same way. In the 1998 draft, most analysts and so-called experts essentially had Ryan Leaf and Peyton Manning on level ground as far as ratings go. As evidence from the fact that Manning is a future HOFer and Leaf was cut by literally every NFL team he played for, it's pretty easy to see something went wrong. A Bust tends to have the exact same physical tools of the Can't-Miss, but they usually differ in two places: mental game and/or injuries. In Leaf's case, it was the mental game. In other uber-hyped draft picks, they catch a bad break and have a string of injuries and never recover. It's a tough thing for a coach or GM to watch as you think the person you shelled out massive amounts of cash, time, and effort for, and who you think is going to be the savior of your franchise, crash and burn in front of your eyes. The Bust is truly one of the biggest tragedies and disappointments of the draft...unless it's someone who played for your university's rival.
Dating: This guy or girl is everything you could dream of, a mirror image of the Can't-Miss prospect. It's possible to think you've found love. It is all there, this prospect dropped into your lap like an angel from Heaven. Maybe you somehow traded up to get into that draft position or the prospect slipped a couple of spots right to your spot because teams and coaches had other needs to fill. Either way, you are sure this one is going to take you all the way to the 'ship. He/she is clicking with fans (friends) and members of the organization (family), things are going extremely well and you've won over the skeptics (your bitchy/douchey friends). Then, all of a sudden, something goes terribly wrong. Perhaps you can't explain it, you can't figure out why after a few blissful months he/she has stopped returning your calls or is acting strangley. The prospect isn't performing in practice (the bedroom), he/she doesn't seem to care in games--that fire is gone. Thus begins the tailspin. You know what you have to do, your pride doesn't want you to, but you've got orders from your fans and GM/owner (friends and family), you've got to cut 'em loose. If you're a guy, you start the process of drowning yourself in a bottle of Jameson, Maker's Mark, or whatever your whiskey of choice is and try to hump anything with a pulse. If you're a girl, you cry to your friends and eat ice cream, watch horrible reality TV, and get fat for a week or five. The dream is gone and you've got to try and move on.
Shared Traits: Great physical assets, initially shows a strong work ethic and has knack for doing right in workouts, maybe lacking in the mental game, prone to injuries, apparent franchise player, dents the pride of the organization that drafts him, messy break-up.
As you can see, sports can teach you something about life, more specifically the dating game. So take this knowledge you've gained from here and apply it to your mock NFL Draft pools and your personal dating lives. Make sure you tune in to ESPN on April 26th for the 2012 NFL Draft; you might learn a little something more from those pundits too. I think my next post may be relating the NHL All-Star Draft to social stereotypes in middle school and high school....a la the fat kid is always picked last for sports....cough cough Phil Kessel at the 2011 NHL All-Star Draft.
Dating: This guy/girl is special. You can feel it after hanging out only a few times. You start to get those butterflies in your stomach and that certain whimsical feeling whenever you're around him/her. He/she is absolutely gorgeous/handsome, incredibly social and friendly, there isn't a person that doesn't like to be around this prospect. He/she is smart, caring, funny, well-mannered--the type of person you'd happily bring home to Mom and Dad or show off to your friends. While that's all good and dandy, this person has the other factor that is ever so important (well at least to me it is): that edge. He/she is passionate and loving and, at times, isn't afraid to show it; they bring a little something extra to the bedroom. Whether you're staying in for the night or going out with friends, it doesn't matter because this prospect enjoys them both and makes each an awesome time. It's easy to tell that this is the type of high caliber prospect you want to be with for a long time to come.
